Men like words.Men love words.Words words words words...WORDS!

According to the computer it's exactly 5:11,according to the clock it's 5:09,according to the cell phone it's 5:12.AM.
I'm crazy.
Why am I crazy?hahahhahaha
fuck I think I'm having a boost.I think I might be resurrecting a little bit.
Because tonight I cried and I cr...I'm not gonna continue like this.

But I'm not erasing anything.

This is what's going on in my mind right now.As I'm writing.This is a little part of what my brain is like right now.

Full.Empty.Tired.Excited.

I stopped writing what I was writing up there because this thought came in my head and told me that it doesn't necessarily make you feel alive when you cry.Nope,it's not because you don't censor your emotions that you don't feel exhausted by them.
And I know resurrection is not going to happen before I stop refreshing the Facebook homepage... How silly,how silly,how silly....Oh,girl!

De retour a nos moutons,I am a silly kind of crazy because at this time of the morning I haven't had my night yet,I mean my sleep,my snoring.What I've had in exchange though,is too many thoughts,too many tears,too many screens and hours in front of them,too much waiting,too much wandering and wondering,too much sugar,too much milk,too much laziness,and too much dryness for my sleepless eyes.

Drrrrama,drama drama,too much drama.
Too much wanting to talk to you.At such point that in spite of my attempts to stop it,I did talk to myself instead of talking to you.Because you...?

OK,next part.
I'm drinking a beer,alone here in front of a good ol' computer and I'm craving a joint and a cigarette and a slap on the face and quite anything that's just a little bit bad for me.But what I really want is totally different and I feel like telling you later.Not you,but you,you know.

My bottle is as green as your eyes.
I want to make love and not war with you,and not just a little bit,a whole fucking lot because that and anything that involves you is the only thing I want to do with my time.Ok?Is that too much for you?For me?For us?
I have no clue.About nothing.Not now...Maybe tomorrow.I mean,later.

Charlie the cat

Charlie the cat is looking at me and realizes how damn crazy I must be to cry like that in front of a screen;and why in the world is she slapping herself?!
Charlie the cat is so lovely because he always moans and asks for love and he's so cute you just want to give it to him but then you realize it's just that you're actually craving to give him love and he only wants some God damned pleasure!Charlie the cat.How the fuck can a cat make you think about your own little loneliness.

3 minutes without air.
3 days without water.
3 weeks without food.
3 months without companionship or love.

Pure joie.On dirait que tout est possible...

Sophie Durocher

Je me leverais a l'aube(au lieu de me coucher a l'aube) pour l'ecouter parler.
Elle est inspirante.

Et toujours les questions(questionnements)...

Like a serenade

I feel like a serenade.I feeeeel like..covering myself with flowers,
plastic flowers,real flowers,blue,red,pink flowers,white flowers,printed flowers,shiny,big,small,beautiful,oh so beautiful flowers.I feel like walking around the world,singing and smelling like flowers.With you and your birds.And I'll give you all of my flowers.You deserve all my flowers and all my smiles.And I don't mind walking naked around you.

Live

Mars,
april,
may,
june,
july,
august,september..2010,2011,2012(even if the world ends),2013,2014...
I feel like buying calendars with you.And putting them away.And enjoying.
And then looking at the calendars,being in awe and buying some new ones.And putting them away.
And enjoying.

I believe in you.

I'm a slut

It's stupid that I closed my blog when I think about it,because I was still writing,but only on my Facebook profile.The next couple of texts,this one included,are copied and pasted from there.
Now lemme just warn you,because some people get this one wrong(or just don't get it):this text is filled with irony.I thought it was obvious but whatever.Just go on and whatever.




I am a slut because I use my body and my sex-appeal for profits,I am a slut because I'm confident,beautiful and brave enough to use my physical appearance as what it is:an asset,a quality.
I am a slut because you just hate this ease that I have with using my sexuality in ways that can benefit me,in all consciousness and control over the situation.

Without SHAME.

I'm a slut because you can't accept that I've gotten a bit farther than you when it comes to inner freedom and peace of mind about this piece of meat that I live in.I am a slut because I sincerely enjoy looking,feeling,being sensual,beautiful,attractive.I'm a real damn slut because I'm aware of the importance of appearance and know how to use it to my advantage instead of denying it like a little coward.

I know it's bad.I mean,I deserve all the disrespect in the world,don't I?

Lady Gaga "objectifies her body"

Now what other bullshit?
I'm getting more and more sick of hearing this kind of things.

The girl doesn't like pants.The girl likes skin.What's so bothering about that?
She is,as she said herself,"a strong,sexual woman".I BET.
I've always had huge respect for these women who are,well,totally disrespected by society.
People talk (and complain!) SO much about how we lost all sexual taboos(I wish it only were the case..) and (oh!what a shame!)we are WAY too open about sexuality nowadays.Bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit.

Let's make it clear:sexuality is still highly censored and people are disturbed by seeing others that are sexually liberated and considered provocative,shocking,controversial.
Oh,they also call them sluts.
Or artificial.Or brainless.Talentless.And the list goes on.
Why?Because they feel like it's unacceptable,immoral,stupid and shameful to use your gifts that are not inner.Celine Dion being successful because she's an amazing singer?Great.Respect.
Britney Spears being successful because she sings well and is a sex bomb?A talentless worthless stupid manipulated little young naive slut.

Tired of people being scared of their own sexuality and judging other people's.
Wake up or shut your mouth.

Saint Sain Sein

Dans ma tete,ce n'est meme plus une question de censure.
C'est une question d'ignorance et d'illusion de la detention de la verite absolue,d'hostilite et de manque de respect,mais surtout,surtout:du JUGEMENT.

Une definition du dictionnaire:
Jugement - Qualité de l'esprit, faculté intellectuelle qui porte à bien juger, à porter des appréciations sages, des jugements sains, pleins de discernement, d'équité et de bon sens.

C'est quasiment choquant de realiser la difference qui a lieu entre cette definition et l'usage que fait reellement notre societe,et je nomme ici notre societe mondiale,de cette precieuse et unique faculte des humains.Je cite la sexualite comme exemple parce que c'est ca qui presse.

Il faut faire quelque chose.

Un nombre incalculable de personnes ne prennent ni le temps,ni le courage de reflechir,penser,raisonner,comprendre les causes des effets.De voir en 3D.
C'est si facile,O! si facile de juger comme on nous a enseigne,de juger vite,beaucoup trop vite,de juger tout simplement,de jeter ses idees ignorantes et simplistes emplies de cruaute a l'egard des personnes - et je cite surtout les femmes comme exemple parce que c'est ca qui presse - qui ont une sexualite,une sensualite liberee et affirmee.

On les juge bien stupidement de femmes objets,exploitees,blessees,manipulees,fragiles,stupides,perverties,malheureuses,denuees d'estime de soi,insecures - bref,des femmes derangees,laides de l'interieur et dignes de recevoir des pierres sur le corps,ou dans d'autres cas,d'etre traitees en victimes.

Et si la verite en etait une autre?

Et si,parmi toutes ces femmes,on realisait qu'il y en a une enorme partie qui est constituee de femmes
libres,conscientes,reflechies,authentiques,courageuses,confiantes,intelligentes et fortes?

Quelle serait votre reaction si un jour vous aviez la preuve absolument indeniable et evidente que c'est ca,la verite?

Vous sentiriez votre orgueil frissonner,honteux,decu de s'etre trompe pendant tout ce temps,se debattant pour vous convaincre de lui redonner raison,a nouveau,a lui,a lui,qui est fait d'illusions et de mensonges,incapable de detenir une vraie verite?
Voila qui est peut-etre,en fait sans doute,une cle du probleme.

Et si vous laissiez votre orgueil de cote et prendriez la peine d'examiner soigneusement et sincerement chaque situation sans jamais se presser de tirer des conclusions?Si vous acceptiez le changement,la difference,le libre-arbitre de tous et de se respecter enfin?De vivre et de laisser vivre?
HEIN?

oh wait,I've got feelings?

Strangely,people tend to constantly deny their human nature by trying to hide their vulnerabilty.
Which is,ironically,an even more obvious proof of vulnerability.

Vulnerabilty.
A beautiful thing.

I was so wet

Quand il pleut de meme,il y a ceux qui se cachent et ceux qui en profitent.
Moi,j'adore.Alors j'en profite.

Hier,avec mon jean bleu tout mouille,j'avais l'air d'un ocean.

Un petit jeudi

Ca m'arrive toujours a moi!
..Ca passe mieux depuis que j'aime etre en ma propre compagnie.Je m'amuse avec moi-meme;c'est vrai,je me trouve tellement drole,parfois.
Je passe des eternites a regarder le menu et je me fous de ma gueule parce que je finis evidemment avec une bonne vieille pizza.Je me verse mon Acqua Frizzante comme je me verserais du champagne.Je me raconte des histoires.Je ris dans mon coin.Je ne comprends pas comment la musique a passe d'un bon petit jazz a un bon petit house.
Je danse un peu avec ma fourchette et je regarde les hommes maries pour le simple petit plaisir de les voir rougir.
J'oublie que je dois prendre mon medic,j'oublie que je veux boire une biere et j'oublie de ne pas manger avec mes mains.
Je vais bien dormir,je le sens.

I won't wait by the phone

Because by the way I don't even need you.
And I won't wait by the phone.
I've got myself for satisfaction,
A bit of good loving's always welcome but man
I won't seek in you what you don't have
I've got myself,I've got all I need.
I did like your arms around my body
I did savor your lips and I did admire your eyes
But you could have taken the time
Taken the time to stay a bit
But I won't even wait by the phone.
Yeah goodnight,you too.

I ate half of my Kit-Kat

months ago:



We ate we read we talked we went to a strip club.I worked the pole for 3 minutes before they told me clients were coming and I had to go hide in a corner and act like I wasn't there because I'm a girl in a male gay bar and I failed to look like a drag queen in spite of my pink wig.
I got out of there with lipstick smudged around my lips since there was a cute straight guy in there that called me Princess.

The day after:Luis working.
Me,alone.Eating Dollarama soup dancing half-naked with my stripper shoes,doing the laundry and enjoying it,singing RELAX..Take it ee--eee--eeasyyyy
and
If it makes you feel good then I say do it,I don't know what you're waiiiting fooor
and
papa-papa-razziii


Laying on the couch.Damn,there's still dirty laundry here.Do the laundry.
Lay on the couch.
Wait.
He's kinda late I'm kinda bored.
Let's make some cookies.
Cookies done.
Lay on the couch.Wait.
Dress up(/down)and take photos.Amazing.No day is lost when I take beautiful photos.

Luis arrives.Simona I'm sorryyyy OH you cleaned everything and you look so fucking hot and you made COOKIES that's so sweet thank you so much you make me so HAPPY!

He ate cookies we sat down we talked and we had sweet dreams starting 4 AM.

oh.my.God.

Ce que le hasard fait bien les choses!J'aurais peut-etre du appeler ce billet "ouate de phoque"...

Bref,je viens de retomber sur mon desormais ex-ancien blogue(?!)et je me trouve carrement folle de l'avoir ferme parce que je trouvais ca nul.Je trouve ca magnifique.C'est vraiment drole..Je me cherchais de quoi a faire.Je sens l'inspiration revenir...J'ai tant de choses a exprimer.Thank God.....aahhhhhhhhhhh